Prologue (1000 words): Dr. Matthew Connor is an expert in erectile dysfunction. He is about to retire, since treating the same old problems is no longer interesting. Then he meets Nicholas Evans, whose case is unique. Here is his story.
Part 1 - Nick Evan's Story (86,000 words): Nick Evans is having a terrible time, his fiancé has left him and his penis no longer functions correctly. It has got a Pinochio-complex; whenever Nick lies it rears up and grows, when he tells the truth it deflates. To complicate matters further, Nick's father is killed when a wooden rhino falls and impales him on its horn. It is no accident, and if Nick isn't careful he will become the next murder victim. The police aren't taking the case seriously. Nick starts his own investigation. There are two attempts on his life, one using a windsurfer and the other a scorpion. He finds the murderer, but can't prove his guilt or get the police interested. Finally, thanks to a harebrained scheme and larger than average pair of breasts, the murderer implicates himself and is arrested.
Part 2 - Dr. Matthew Connor's Story (11,000 words): Dr. Connor explains how he came to specialize in erectile dysfunction and how he successfully treated Nicholas Evans.
Market Survey (Totally unscientific):
Andrew Quill, urologist - "I wet my pants, it was so funny."
Vicki Fontneau, chemist - "Hysterical and intriguing all the way to the end. Never a dull moment. I laughed out loud ....sometimes laughed until tears were rolling down my face !"
East Lyme Writers Group - "This one has more commercial potential than anything we have read from in years."
Eugene Gallagher, Prof. Religon - "I'd buy this for myself and buy copies for my friends. A riot--and instructive, too"